Divergent: Four's Story
by JadaBaby
Summary: This is the Divergent story as told by Four. I know there are a lot of these out there, but I wanted to write one of my own. In this story, I will attempt to reach deep into the thoughts and emotions of the Dauntless bad boy we all know and love. This story also includes several of my own original scenes and characters that are not in the original book. I hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A note from the author: I do not own the Divergent series or any of it's characters. Those belong solely to Veronica Roth, and I do not take credit for them. My goal for this story is to combine Veronica's story and characters from the book with my own original side plots and characters. I want to strive for a 50/50 mix of the two. I hope you enjoy the originality. Please comment and let me know what you think. And above all, enjoy :)**

**Chapter 1**

_ I'm in the middle of the desert. I don't know how I got here, but as I look around I see nothing but sand stretched out flat before me. The air is hot, the sun beating down on my back, and my mouth feels dry. I glance around desperately for any sign of water, but see none. That's when I hear it, a voice screaming my name. "Tobias! Tobias," I hear him calling again and again. I don't even need to look to know who it is, I would know that voice anywhere. It is the voice that tortured me for sixteen long years of my life and even still haunts me in my dreams. I begin to run, faster and faster, until my legs ache, my heart is hammering, and I no longer care about the intense dryness in my mouth and throat. Yet no matter how fast I run, I cannot escape him. "Tobias," he continues to yell, and I know that he is angry. I also know, deep in my heart, that no matter how long or far I run, he will catch me; he always does. The pain in my legs is becoming unbearable and I don't think I can go much longer, but I don't dare stop. How he can even keep up with me is a mystery. I am, after all, much younger and physically fit, yet he keeps my pace, right on my heels. I chance a glance behind me and I see him, his face twisted into an ugly scowl. And then I'm falling. I look down and the ground is far below me, and now I'm terrified for a completely new reason. In my distraction I hadn't realized that a cliff had laid before me and I had run right off it. I scream through gritted teeth as my body falls helplessly through the air. I briefly think 'at least he didn't get me'. The he being Marcus, my father._

I wake up in a cold sweat, my heart beating frantically in my chest. "It was just a dream," I say to myself, willing my heart to calm down. It was two years ago today that I made the decision that would change my life forever, and keep me safe from Marcus. My choosing day. The day I chose to defect from my former faction. I still remember the murmured accusations of the Abnegation and the look of pure hatred on my father's face as I stood before the bowl of coals and let my blood sizzle on them. It's not so much that I chose Dauntless, it's that I was choosing to leave Abnegation. I really didn't care where I went as long as it was away from him. I'm definitely not kind enough to be Amity. I'm smart, but I don't care enough about books and logic to be Erudite. And the Candor just annoy me with their bluntness and obnoxiousness. But bravery, that I can do. So I chose Dauntless, and it has been my home for the last two years, even if it's not always so great.

I check the clock on my bedside table and realize that if I don't get up and moving I'm going to be late. I take a quick shower and throw on some clothes before running down to the dining hall. I really don't have time to sit down and eat, so I settle for grabbing a muffin instead. As I turn to leave I practically run into Lauren.

"Four, come on we've got to go! The intiates will be here soon," she says hurriedly and we begin our walk to the net.

No one here knows my real name, and I intend to keep it that way. I don't like opening up to people, letting them see the vulnerable side of me. The terrified boy I was before I came here. To them I'm just Four, hardcore Dauntless trainer who is not to be messed with. They see me as brave, confident, strong. I will never let them see me as anything less.

"Who do you think will be first to jump this year?" Lauren asks as we approach the net. The net is beneath a hole in the concrete at the bottom of a seven story building. Each initiate will have to jump from the top of the building, but they can't see the net at the bottom waiting to catch them, just the gaping black hole in the ground.

"A Dauntless born, or maybe an Erudite," I answer without hesitation. It's always a Dauntless born or Erudite. "The Dauntless are always the bravest in the beginning, but the Erudite have a lot of pride that can make them do crazy things, like jump off a building just to prove they're brave enough to belong."

Lauren mulls this over for a minute before saying, "I guess I've never really thought of it like that before, but that does make a lot of sense."

Just then I see a girl drop through the hole and land in the net. She let's out a laugh of relief and I move to the edge of the net to help her off. As soon as she goes to roll off I catch her and immediately notice what she's wearing: grey. I can't believe it and I stand stunned for a second. Not many Abnegation transfer to Dauntless; the two factions are virtually opposite. There hasn't been a transfer from Abnegation since, well me.

"Can't believe it," Lauren speaks up from behind me, breaking me out of my trance. "A Stiff the first to jump? Unheard of." I immediately tense at the word _Stiff_, I've never liked it. Lauren clearly doesn't seem to respect the girl, and that only irritates me more.

"There's a reason why she left them Lauren," I snap back with a slight edge to my voice. Then I realize she was right. A Stiff jumping first _is_ unheard of. Not even I jumped first. I think back to the day I stood at the top of that building, knees shaking, trying to summon every ounce of courage I had to make the leap. My respect for this mysterious girl grows just a little more.

"What's your name?" I ask.

"Umm.." she begins, then hesitates as if she's forgotten it, or maybe she doesn't feel like her old name fits her anymore. I certainly can understand that.

"Think about it, you don't get to pick again."

She's silent for a moment as she thinks about it. "Tris," she finally answers with a small smile.

"Tris," Lauren parrots back. Funny, I had almost forgotten that she was standing right beside me. "Make the announcement Four."

I look over my shoulder and announce loudly to the crowd behind me, "First jumper- Tris!" Everyone erupts into deafening cheers, like the typical Dauntless they are. Just then another girl drops into the net screaming loudly, this one from Candor.

I place my hand on Tris' back and look into her eyes, which I now notice are a pale blue, so light they almost look grey. "Welcome to Dauntless," I tell her and she smiles up at me.

One by one the other initiates begin to drop into the net. I spend the time occasionally sneaking glances at Tris. She's small, a good head shorter than all the other initiates and she's very slender. She has long strawberry blonde hair and a certain gleam in her eyes that I can only describe as determination. I don't know why but she instantly intriques me. Maybe it's just because we both came from the same faction. _Yeah that must be all it is,_ I think unconvincingly to myself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Once all the initiates have jumped, Lauren and I begin to lead them down the long, dark tunnel that leads away from the net and into the very heart of our headquarters. When I first came to Dauntless, the darkness unsettled me, never knowing what lay ahead of me. Now I embrace it. It's like a blanket wrapping around me, enveloping me until I become one with it, keeping me safe in the shadows so no one can see who I am. At the end of the tunnel we stop and turn to the initiates who collide into each other as they come to an abrupt halt.

"This is where we divide," Lauren shouts. "The Dauntless-born initiates are with me. I assume you don't need a tour of the place."

With that she leads most of the initiates away back into the darkness of the compound they all know so well. Once they have all gone I turn back to my initiates, the transfers, of which there are only nine. I prefer to train the transfers because I've been in their shoes. I know what it's like to be new to the intimidating and scary world of the Dauntless. It was only two years ago, but now it seems like a lifetime.

This year I have a few Erudites, a few Candor, the one Abnegation, and not surprisingly, no Amity. As different as the Abnegation are from the Dauntless, the Amity are even more so. Whatever is more different than complete opposites, that is what the Amity are to us. That's why almost all of our transfers come from Erudite or Candor. I personally dislike both in general.

"Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks, I am your instructor," I inform the group. "My name is Four."

I wait, because I know what's coming next. It's the same every year, the only question is who it will be this time. It's not long before a girl from Candor speaks up, the girl who jumped right after Tris. "Four? Like the number?" she asks.

And there it is. Even though I was expecting it I still roll my eyes to myself before spitting out, "Yes, is there a problem?"

"No," she answers back casually, but I can tell by the glint in her eye that she hasn't gotten the picture yet. I don't like to be questioned.

"Good," I begin again. "We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It-"

But then I'm interrupted mid-sentence by the same girl. "The Pit? Clever name," she snickers.

I don't like to be questioned. I hate being interrupted. I level my gaze at her as I stalk towards her. I stop right in front of her and lower my face so it's only inches from hers. I narrow my eyes, letting every bit of my irritation show through my glare. "What's your name," I say it more as a demand than a question.

"Christina," she says quietly and I know I have succeeded in intimidating her.

"Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-mouths, I would have joined their faction," I practically hiss in her face. "The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"

She nods quickly. I smile inwardly, that ought to take care of her.

I turn back around and quietly begin to lead the group through the dark tunnel towards the Pit. I hear Christina mumble, "What a jerk."

"Maybe he doesn't like to be laughed at," a small female voice replies and I recognize it as Tris'. Well she's not wrong about that. I'm a pretty serious guy.

Finally the tunnel empties out into the Pit, and I step aside to let all the initiates see. The Pit is like a huge underground cave, carved into the earth beneath a large glass building. From the outside all you can see is the building. It looks just like any other and no uninformed observer would ever know that beneath it lies a huge cavern that houses an entire faction. It's pretty incredible if you think about it.

The Pit itself is made of huge, uneven rock walls that extend upwards for several stories. There are shops for just about everything cut into the walls with narrow paths carved into the rock, leading up and connecting it all. I stand for a moment, staring out, imagining what the initiates must be thinking right now, what I myself had thought when I stood here for the first time. There are people every where, their excited voices filling the room and echoing off the walls, making it really loud. Everyone here is so alive and filled with energy, you can feel it radiating into the air like an electric vibration. It's one of the things that drew me to Dauntless. It might be chaos, but in moments like this, I can't help but love it.

I turn back to the group, "If you follow me, I'll show you the chasm," and with that I lead them toward the iron barrier of the deep chasm. Far below at the bottom is water rushing quickly over jagged rocks.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" I yell loudly so everyone can hear me over the roar of the water. "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned." I shudder inwardly. Finding people dead at the bottom of the chasm is not something I enjoy. We stand at the edge of the chasm for a few more moments, and I see Tris looking at it in amazement.

A minute later I lead the initiates arcoss the Pit and through the giant hole in the wall that seperates it from the dining hall. Inside the noise level is even louder than it is in the Pit. There are people sitting everywhere, talking loudly in an attempt to be heard over everyone else. It only takes a moment for people to realize that the initiates have entered, and when they do everyone stands up and begins shouting, applauding with pumps of their fists and stomps of their feet. Even now I sometimes can't believe how loud it is here, how vastly different it is from the nearly silent world of the Abnegation I came from. There children aren't even allowed to talk at the dinner table, here they practically shout every word. I look at Tris and see that she too realizes just how different this place is, but she seems happy about the change, a smile spreading across her face.

We start to move into the hall, the initiates hesitantly spreading out in search of a place to sit. I see a group of my friends at a table in the corner of the room and as my gaze meets Zeke's he waves me over. I always sit with them, but for some reason I don't understand, I begin to walk towards the table across from them, where Tris and Christina have just sat. As I approach the table, I realize that I didn't decide to sit here. It's as though my feet made the decision for me and acted without my permission. But I'm already at the table and it would look strange if I turned around and walked away now, so I sit down anyway, earning a quizzical look from some of my friends.

As I sit, I notice Tris staring suspiciously at the food. I have to stifle a laugh at her expression as I remember my first encounter with Dauntless food. It was unlike anything I had ever seen before, and there's no doubt she's thinking the same thing. She picks up one of the patties, still unsure about it. It's kind of cute how she cautiously inspects it. _Did I just think of her as cute? Where did that come from? _I brush my thoughts aside as I nudge her with my elbow. "It's beef, put this on it," I lean in and inform her as I slide her a bowl of ketchup.

I notice Christina's eyes widen in disbelief as she stares at Tris, mouth slightly agape. "You've never had a hamburger before?" she asks incredulously.

"No," she innocently responds. "Is that what it's called?"

"Stiffs eat plain food," I offer. I hate calling her a Stiff, but that's the way every other faction refers to them, and if I didn't it might throw up a red flag.

"Why?" she asks confused.

Before I can respond Tris replies, albeit a little defensively, "Extravagance is considered self-indulgent and unnecessary."

"No wonder you left," she smirks, laughing slightly.

"Yeah, it was just because of the food," Tris sarcastically retorts and I can't help it when I feel the corners of my mouth turn up just a bit.

Suddenly and without warning a scarce silence falls upon the dining room and I hear footsteps behind me. There are few things that can silence an entire group of Dauntless, and I don't even need to turn around to know exactly what, or in this case who, it was that hushed them. Deep in my gut I just know he's coming for me, and it makes every muscle in my body tense, my spine straightens, and the hair on the back of my neck stands on end.

"Who's that?" I barely hear Christina hiss.

"His name is Eric. He's a Dauntless leader," I inform them, letting no emotion show through my voice.

"Seriously? But he's so young?"

Typical Candor. Everything in their faction is determined by age. I guess you could say the same for the Dauntless, except here youth and vitality are preferred to the wisdom that comes with old age. In fact, the elderly literally have no place here among us. I don't tell her all that though, I simply say, "Age doesn't matter here." It's half true.

I can see more questions radiating from both their eyes, but they don't have time to ask any because just then Eric plops down in the seat beside me, just as I knew and dreaded he would. I really don't want to talk to him, so I just sit in silence. Tris and Christina follow my lead, but probably more from fear than anything. I'm not afraid of Eric, but a lot of people are. Sure he's a leader, but it's not just that. He carries himself with such an aura of cockiness and undeserved superiority that it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. But I think what gets people more than anything is his eyes. They are always cold, always calculating. That's Eric, cold and calculating, and he makes no attempt to hide it.

We sit for a minute, the silence hanging heavy around us before he finally speaks. "Well aren't you going to introduce me?" he asks nodding to the girls.

I suddenly realize I don't want his toxic venom anywhere near them, and I certainly don't want to be the one who subjects them to it. But as much as I would like to just ignore him, I know I can't so I quickly say, "This is Tris and Christina," hoping he'll lose interest in them and move on. Of course, no such luck.

"Ooh, a Stiff," he practically crows smirking. His evil grin pulls at all his piercings, causing them to distort into something uglier than they usually are. Eric doesn't smile much, and when he does, it's usually not good. "We'll see how long you last," he says to Tris, but I can't help but wonder if that was a stab at me or her. He is one of few people here who actually remembers that I came from Abnegation, and he never misses a chance to make snide remarks about it. He has never gotten over the fact that I outranked him during our own initiation. A _Stiff_ outranking Eric was more than his colossal pride could handle, and I think a small part of his ego cracked that day. A second later I realize that his comment, regardless of it's intended target, was a direct insult to Tris and a fresh surge of anger rushes through my veins. I half expect her to snap back, but she just sits quitely. Probably for the best. Eric isn't the type of guy you want to enrage.

Realizing he isn't going to get a response from her, Eric turns to me. "What have you been doing lately, Four?"

I don't feel like sitting here chit-chatting with him so I just reply, "Nothing, really," hoping he'll just cut to the chase and tell me what he really came over here to talk about.

I see Tris' eyes flickering between the two of us, undoubtedly trying to figure out what kind of relationship we have, and why there's so much tension clearly radiating between us.

"Max tells me he keeps trying to meet with you, and you don't show up. He requested that I find out what's going on with you." Ah so that's what he wants. I should have known.

I really don't want to be having this conversation right now so I finally say, "Tell him that I am satisfied with the position I currently hold," hoping that he'll just leave it at that. But no, Eric's far too nosey for that.

"So he wants to give you a job." I know he sees me as a potential threat. He knows as well as I do that, if I wanted it, I could take his job in a heartbeat. Max wouldn't even hesitate to move me up and cut Eric loose. He's been trying to get me to accept the offer for years. Luckily for Eric, I don't want it. At all.

"So it would seem." _Now go away._

"And you aren't interested." _Obviously not._

"I haven't been interested for two years."

"Well," he says finally satisfied, "Let's hope he gets the point, then."

He finally gets up and slaps me on the shoulder, harder than necessary but I don't care. He walks off and I relax; everyone else does too.

"Are you two... friends?" Tris inquires. The idea of being friends with Eric is laughable.

"We were in the same initiate class," I respond, indirectly answering her question. "He transfered from Erudite." As soon as that tiny bit of information leaves my mouth, I immediately wish I could take it back, because I know what she's going to ask next.

"Were you a transfer too?" I knew it. I've never met a Stiff so curious. I really don't like talking about myself. No one here knows who I really am, not even my closest friends. I'm certainly not about to open up to a couple of initiates that I've just met. Plus, if she knew I was from Abnegation she might put two and two together and realize who I actually am. That absolutely cannot happen.

"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions. Now I've got Stiffs, too?" I say it coldly even though I don't want to be harsh to her. However, more than that, I want her to stop asking me questions, so I add an edge to my voice.

"It must be because you're so approachable. You know. Like a bed of nails," she practically spits back.

I cannot believe she just said that. I have never once had an initiate talk to me like that, and I certainly didn't expect it from the quiet Stiff. We sit in silence as I stare at her, and it surprises me that she meets my stare, almost as if she's challenging me. She's clearly not intimidated by me, and that's a first too. I'm angry. I should be yelling at her, scolding her. But deep down a part of me just can't bring myself to do it. So I just say, "Careful, Tris," almost as a warning. _A warning, really? What is wrong with me._

Just then I hear Felix call over to me, so I get up and make my way over to where he sits with the rest of my friends at our usual table, where I should have just sat to begin with. As I walk away I hear Christina.

"I'm developing a theory."

"And it is?" Tris asks back.

"That you have a death wish." At that I can't help but smirk a little.

As I approach the table, everyone stops talking and turns to look at me. They stare at me in silence until it makes me uncomfortable. "What?" I practically snap.

"We're all just wondering what the hell you were doing sitting over there with a group of initiates," Shauna states matter-of-factly.

"I..." I begin, realizing that I honestly don't know what made me sit over there. All I know is that for some reason I had felt magnetically drawn over there, like some force had pulled me that way. Of course I'm not going to tell them that. I think for a minute, trying to come up with some explanation. "I.. uh.. it's just the Stiff, you know.. we just don't get many, and I.. uh.. just wanted to.. um.. I don't know.. get to know her.. a little bit.. maybe?" Even I realize how ridiculous that just sounded.

And now their all just staring silently at me again, only now they look stunned and I even notice a couple of mouths hung open in shock. Great. "What?" I snap again.

"Did you, Four, actually just admit to wanting to get to know someone?" Felix asks incredulously.

I just glare at him in response.

"Oh my god, I can't believe it!" Shauna shrieks.

"Maybe he's not such a robot after all," Zeke says to her.

"Maybe he likes her!" Shauna says excitedly.

"Four liking a girl? Not likely," Felix retorts laughing.

Now I'm openly glaring at all of them. "Remind me again why I'm friends with you idiots."

"Oh shut up. You love us and you know it," Shauna replies.

"Yeah man, relax. We're just teasing you," Zeke says.

Just then Lauren walks over and sits down next to Shauna. "What are we all talking about?"

"Four likes the Stiff!" Shauna tells her as she eyes me smugly.

I feel blood rush to my cheeks and Lauren's mouth drops wide open and stares at me, her eyes full of shock and something else I just can't place. Pain maybe, or disappointment, I'm not sure. But that wouldn't make any sense so maybe I'm just imagining it. A moment later I realize she's still staring at me. Again with the staring. I'm beginning to feel like a zoo animal on display. Before she can start lecturing me about how it's not good to get involved with an initiate, I meet her gaze and tell her flatly, "I do not like the Stiff. She just.. intrigues me a little bit. It's nothing." I briefly see relief flash through her eyes and she relaxes just a little. _What was that about?_

"It's cool man, I get it," Zeke says. "I mean if you think about it, it makes a lot of sense that you would be interested in her. I mean, you both came from Abnegation, so you share an unspoken connection with her that you don't have with anyone else here."

I know he's just trying to be reassuring and probably doesn't even realize the mistake he just made, but I scowl at him anyway.

"What?" he asks innocently. "It's not like I'm saying you like her, just that you..." He trails off as he looks around the table, registering the look of complete shock on Felix and Lauren's faces, and understanding dawns in his eyes.

"You were a _Stiff?" _they both exclaim in unison, Lauren dropping her fork to her plate.

Zeke and Shauna were both Dauntless-born initiates the year I defected, so they knew which faction I came from. Lauren and Felix, however, didn't transfer to Dauntless until last year. They probably just assumed like most other transfer initiates that I was a Dauntless-born, since I seem to play the part so well, and I don't ever bother to tell anyone any differently.

"Yes," I finally answer them shortly, offering up nothing more in the hopes that they'll just drop it.

"So is that what it is then? What Zeke said?" Felix asks curiously. "I mean, do you like her because she came from your old faction?"

I level him with a look, "For the last time, I do _not_ like her. I'm sick of talking about this, so everyone drop it."

"Fine but just one more question," Shauna says. "Did you learn anything interesting while you were over there 'getting to know her'?" She even uses air quotes around 'getting to know her' and I roll my eyes.

"Yeah," I say slightly annoyed. "She's a smart-ass. And so are you."

She flips me off, but thankfully everyone drops it. Lauren begins to babble on about the Dauntless-born initiates and how they all seem to feel entitled to a spot here and how they're already getting on her nerves.

As she continues to rant, I begin to tune her out and allow my mind to wander. I can't stop myself from allowing my thought"s to turn to Tris. First jumper is a big deal around here, and she's obviously brave. I begin to wonder how well she will do once training begins, and I'm surprised to find myself secretely hoping she does good. _I don't like her, _I stubbornly tell myself. _Right? Right._

Snapping myself out of my thoughts, I look up just as Blaze plops down in the seat beside me, his girlfriend Fiona right behind him.

Blaze had been a transfer initiate the same year as me. Being from Erudite, he had grown up with Eric and hated him. We had become instant allies. Of course when I first met him, his name had been Theodore. The first week we were here he decided to go and get a huge tattoo of the red and orange Dauntless flames, covering his entire back, wrapping around his sides and all the way up his neck and around his ears. I started calling him Blaze after that, it sounded much more Dauntless than _Theodore_, and the name has stuck ever since. The flames make him look really intimidating, but he's actually a really nice guy.

His girlfriend Fiona, or Fi as we all call her, on the other hand, well, she's _intense_. She's a Dauntless-born a year older than us. Like myself, she had been ranked first during her initiation. She might not look it, but the girl can fight. Her hand-to-hand combat skills are something of a legend, and there's not a single weapon that she's not deadly accurate with. Up until this year she had been in charge of training the Dauntless-born. But when she was offered an Ambassador position she didn't think she'd have the time to do it anymore, and that's when Lauren took over the training.

"Sorry we're late guys," Fi says as she sits down on the other side of Blaze. "But _someone _lost the keys to our apartment." I notice her give Blaze a not-so-subtle sideways glare.

"For the last time, I said I was sorry. It's not like I lost them on purpose."

"They were in the freezer, Blaze, the _freezer_," she emphasizes. "Please expain to me how you lost the keys in the freezer."

"I don't know..." He shrugs.

"Dude, you lost your keys in the freezer?" Shauna snickers.

"Hey it's not as bad as the time he got drunk and lost his phone," Zeke chimes in. "It took you what, three months to find it again?"

"Four months!" Fi corrects.

"Hey, in my defense, it wouldn't have taken so long to find it if _someone_ didn't have so many pairs of shoes. Just saying."

"Oh, so now it's my fault you put your phone in my old pair of boots?"

They continue to banter back and forth for a few more minutes, and I find myself shaking my head and laughing quietly. They've always seemed like such an odd couple to me, but it clearly seems to work for them.

"Okay that's enough," Shauna finally stops them. "I'm going down to the shops in the Pit tomorrow night to pick up a few things. Anyone want to join me?"

"I'll go with you," Zeke says quickly, a little too enthusiastically if you ask me. I know for a fact Zeke hates shopping and I give him a suspicious look. _What is he up to?_

"I'm in," Lauren says.

"Me too," Fi adds.

"Sorry guys, but Blaze and I both have to work tomorrow night," Felix informs us. They both work in the control room with me.

"Yeah we've been working a ton since your sorry ass decided to take time off to train the initiates," Blaze says in mock accusation as he turns to me.

"It's only for a few weeks," I say rolling my eyes. "I'm sure you'll live you pansy."

"So what about you Four? Don't leave me stuck with all these girls by myself," Zeke practically begs.

"Hey you're the one who said you wanted to go _shopping_," I point out accusingly, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, well, I've been meaning to pick up a new pair of boots, and the weapons shop has some really cool new throwing stars that I want to check out," he tells me.

"Thowing stars? Really? You can't even throw knives," I retort smirking.

"Shup up, yes I can! Come with us, it'll be fun."

"Yeah, come on Four," Lauren begs.

I don't have to work until after dinner tomorrow night, so I finally reluctantly agree.

"Great, then it's settled," Shauna exclaims clasping her hands together. "We can all meet up at the chasm around six o'clock, if that works for everyone." We all agree.

After dinner I make my way back to my apartment. I have to get up early in the morning to prepare for training and it's already late, but I want to read over the paperwork Eric gave me earlier with the information of all the initiates. I like to familiarize myself with their names and a little bit of info before training begins. I sit down on my bed with the stack of papers and begin to flip through them. When I realize I have five Candor in my group this year I groan to myself. I instinctively get the feeling I'm not going to like them very much. The Candor always get on my last nerve. They can't help it, it's just who they are. Then there are the three transfers from Erudite. They don't usually give me too much trouble, well with the exception of Eric, of course.

And then there's Tris. The tiny girl from Abnegation with the blue-grey eyes and the spark of determination. As I scan her page, I subconsciously allow my eyes to settle on her picture and linger just a little too long. What is it about this girl that intrigues me so much, makes me want to get to know her more? She's like a puzzle and I want to figure her out. Whatever it is, I need to pull it together and quick. Training begins tomorrow, and I absolutely cannot allow any form of favoritism to show. It is crucial that I see them all as equals. _But you don't_. I scowl at my thoughts and tell myself that it's just my brain playing tricks on me. With that I set the papers aside, crawl under the covers and allow myself to slip into a fitful sleep.

_I'm six years old again. I'm in the kitchen about to pour myself a glass of water when the sound of a door slamming loudly startles me, and I drop the glass in my hand. It falls to the floor, instantly shattering into a million tiny pieces. I begin to panic and run to the dining room table, cowering underneath it for protection. "What was that noise?" I hear Marcus yell from the living room. With that he storms into the kitchen, instantly catching sight of the broken glass strewn across the floor. "Tobias!" he bellows and I shudder. "Tobias! Where are you?" His voice thunders as he begins a quick search of the tiny room. It doesn't take him long to find me hiding under the table. "Tobias, get out here!" he screams as he grabs my arm and drags me out. "Why did you break that glass? Good boys don't break glasses," he growls, already taking off his belt. "I need to teach you how to behave," he says, the belt looming above my head in his raised arm. "You should learn to be better," and with that he brings the belt down like a whip, smacking my shoulder with a crack. "This is for your own good." He continues beating me with the belt, over and over, hitting me in the chest, arms, face. I'm sobbing now, but my cries of pain fall on deaf ears. He abruptly stops, and without a word grabs my arm again, hard, and drags me up the stairs. I sob even harder now, because I know what comes next, and it's even worse than the belt. We reach the tiny closet and he yanks the door open. "You need to sit in there and think about what you've done," and with that he shoves me into the dark hole and slams the door before I even have time to react. I hear it lock with a click. I slump down into the corner, wrapping my arms tight around my legs and cry into my knees. I know that if I open my eyes the walls will start to close in around me. So I keep them squeezed shut and fall into the darkness. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. The second thing is how to win a fight," I inform the initiates as I walk down the row of them, handing each one a gun as I go. "Thankfully, if you are here, you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that."

I stop and look out at the group of initiates. They all look exhausted. They undoubtedly spent a large part of last night lying in their beds crying over the families they've left behind. We're not supposed to care or even think about our former factions, including our families, faction before blood and all that. But the truth is, it's hard to just walk away from the people who raised you, who loved you for the first sixteen years of your life. No one will ever admit it, but everyone has a hard time adjusting to a new faction, and the Dauntless don't make it any easier. I think back to my first night here when I had laid in bed in peace for the first time in my life. I could hear the muffled cries of my fellow initiates, all sobbing into their pillows in failed attempts to keep the sound of their pain from seeping into the air, even though everyone else was crying too. Well everyone except me, but I'm an unusual case.

Refocusing my attention on the initiates, I continue, "Initiation is divided into three stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time."

I pause and give them a minute to absorb everything I have just said. As I watch them for a moment, I notice they continually glance at their guns, some with fear, some with curiousity, all with uncertainty. Dauntless is the only faction that uses guns, so I'm certain that this is the first time any of them has ever held a gun and it's written all over their faces. If I hadn't been just as wary the first time Amar had pushed a gun into my hands, it might be kind of funny.

"We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear," I say as I begin to pace before them. "Therefore each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different way. The first is primarily physical; the second, primarily emotional; the third, primarily mental."

"But what..." Peter begins, yawning loudly as he carelessly lifts the gun he's holding. "What does firing a gun have to do with... bravery?"

Now I'm angry. _Is he an idiot?_ I don't like it when people act so cavalier while holding weapons. Guns can be very dangerous, and someone could get seriously injured if you're not careful. It's a lesson I think Peter needs to learn. Now.

I stalk over to him, flipping the gun that's in my hands and press the barrel of it to his forehead. "Wake. Up," I snap, leaning in close to his face. His eyes widen with fear. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it."

As soon as I lower the gun from his head, I see his green eyes narrow and harden, his cheeks blushing red. He's angry and I don't care. I got my point across.

"And to answer your question... you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself. This is also information you may need later in stage one. So, watch me." They don't know that they will soon be in a game of capture the flag with painball guns, and that if they fail to master the art of shooting, they will be in serious trouble when the time comes. But I'm not going to tell them that.

Instead I simply turn and face the wall lined with targets. They're pretty basic, just square pieces of wood with three red, concentric circles painted on to each one. I've done this so many times I could practically do it blind-folded. In fact, I have a few times. I stand with my feet apart, shoulders squared, holding the gun with both hands, just as my instructor Amar had once taught me to do. I stare down my target and shoot. Bullseye.

I turn back towards the initiates and I notice Tris, leaning forward ever so slightly, glancing back and forth between the target and me. She looks impressed, and I can't help but smile inwardly to myself. I could stand here and continue to shoot over and over again, hitting the center every time just to show off, but I don't. I really don't care if they're impressed by my skills or not. _Except for Tris._ No, stop it.

Taking a few steps back, I silently move off to the side to allow them to begin practicing. I don't need to give them any further instructions, the empty targets hanging at the opposite end of the room explain everything. One by one the initiates raise their guns, attempting to mimic the posture I had shown them, and begin to fire. None of them are very good in the beginnig, but that's normal. I know it's going to take them a few minutes to get used to this new activity. I can't expect someone who has never even held a gun before to be a perfect shot right away, and I know that given time, they'll soon get the hang of it. I remember being them, learning to shoot for the first time. It had taken me a whole five minutes just to hit the target, and another five to hit the center circle.

As I watch them struggle, I can't seem to stop my gaze from continously landing and lingering on Tris. The first couple of times she fires the kick of the gun sends her stumbling backwards. She's so small and looks so out of her element standing there trying to master such a powerful weapon. _She's kind of adorable. _Wait, what? Pull it together Four, you can't be having those kinds of thoughts.

After a while though, I begin to grow genuinely concerned for her. At this point, she's the only initiate who hasn't even hit their target, while roughly half of the others are already hitting the middle. I see Will saying something to her, making fun of her inability to aim no doubt. For some illogical reason that thought makes me angry, though she seems to be handling it just fine. Just then, she turns back, focuses, and shoots, finally hitting the edge of the target. I feel the corner of my lips involuntarily turn up into a small smile.

It only takes five more shots before she hits the target dead in the middle. It may have taken her a while to finally find the board, but once she did, she narrowed in on the center quick. _That's my girl. _Where the hell did that just come from? That's not what I meant. No, what I meant was... that's my... fellow former Stiff, finally hitting the bullseye... Yeah, that's what I meant. _And who are you trying to convince?_ I scowl to myself and decide I no longer like my own subconscious mind.

Wait, does that mean I don't like myself anymore?

Have I ever really liked myself for that matter?

Great, now I'm pondering my own self just because Tris hit the target. That makes perfect sense. This internal argument is just too much to handle, so I force it to the back of my mind and try to refocus on the initiates.

I let them continue to practice firing for a few more hours until everyone has made significant progress and the smell of gun powder hangs heavy in the air. This part of training is usually pretty boring for me since there's not a lot to do but observe and evaluate. So when I finally tell the group that they can break for lunch, I'm as eager to get out of here as they are. I wait until the last of the initiates have left the room and then I turn off the lights and make my way to the dining hall right behind them.

As I step into the dining room, I look over to our usual table and notice that it's empty. I must be a little early, so I walk over and sit down by myself. I use this brief moment of peace and quiet to replay through everything I've noticed about the initiates so far. Although there will be a lot more to evaluate before I start to consider ranking them, it's pretty clear that Edward and Peter are pulling ahead of the rest of the pack. Myra already seems to be struggling and I honestly don't think she's going to make it. Everyone else is still on fairly even ground, but the fights begin tomorrow and that can change everything. I'm so lost in my thoughts that I almost don't realize it when Lauren sits down at the table next to me. When I look over at her, I notice she's watching me with a smile on her face, and I don't miss it when she ever so slightly moves her chair closer to mine.

"What's going on," I ask her.

"Nothing," she says back. "You just looked like you were really deep in thought."

"Oh yeah," I say chuckling a little. "I guess I was pretty zoned out."

"And what is it that you're thinking so hard about?"

"Oh, you know, just the initiates," I answer her, lifting my eyes to where they sit. My gaze automatically finds Tris amongst them. She's turned in her seat, talking to Christina and doesn't notice me watching.

Lauren follows my gaze for a second. "Oh," is all she says flatly, her face suddenly looking as though she's eaten something sour. Her initiates must really be getting on her nerves.

Just then Shauna, Zeke and Felix join us at the table.

"So how is the first day of actual training going," Felix inquires looking across the table at Lauren and me.

"Ugh, it's awful," Lauren grumbles. "They barely listen to me. They think they know it all and don't want to practice. All they seem to want to do is screw around and make jokes. It's exhausting."

"I can only imagine what it's like being stuck with Lynn _and_ Uriah in the same year," Shauna says, and at this both she and Zeke laugh. I've only met her sister, Lynn, and Zeke's brother, Uriah, a few times, but I know they're both stubborn with big mouths. In fact, most of the Dauntless-born have larger than life personalities. Just another reason I chose to mentor the transfers.

Lauren glares at them both, "It's not funny. You're siblings are driving me crazy."

"So what about the transfers, Four?" Felix asks, changing the subject.

"They're actually doing really well so far. And I've only had to hold a gun up to one kid's head so far, so that's a plus."

That makes everyone laugh, and before I know it, lunch flies by.

"Well," I say, checking the time on my watch. "I guess it's time to go get my group. I'll see you guys afterwards in the Pit."

I walk over to the tables where the transfers sit, motion for them to follow me and lead them through the hallways to the large fight room. I go to stand in the middle of the room as the initiates begin to line up next to the row of punching bags.

"As I said this morning," I begin once everyone has picked out a bag and is paying attention, "next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges- which you will need, if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless."

I scan the row of initiates, giving them an intense glare, willing them to understand how important this is. "We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other, so I recommend that you pay attention. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt," I inform them in my serious instructor voice.

I then begin showing them a few basic punches and kicks. I illustrate each one in the air first, and then on a punching bag to help them observe the basic mechanics of each one. Once I've gone through all the moves with them, I stand back and watch them as they begin testing them out on their own punching bags.

I notice that Edward immediately takes to it. It only takes him a couple of minutes to master the basic steps I taught him, and before long he's moved on to way more complex movements. I realize this is clearly not the first time he's been trained to fight. Peter also catches on quickly, though even he isn't nearly as good as Edward.

I begin pacing back and forth amongst them, observing each one silently before moving on to the next. I notice that while Al and Molly both have the brute force to be solid threats, they're both slow and expose too many weaknesses. Christina and Will on the other hand aren't nearly as big but they're fast. If they can learn to attack quickly, they could surprise a bigger opponent and win. Drew and Myra seem to be taking a little longer to catch on. Their movements are fairly sloppy, so it's hard to tell what kind of fighting style would best benefit them.

When I stop next to Tris, I realize that she's already mastered the motions and I'm proud that she caught on so quickly. However, even with the correct form, her punches still aren't landing with enough power to make her a threat to anyone. I let my eyes scan her body, and I realize for the first time just how frail she looks.

"You don't have much muscle," I say quietly, leaning in close to her, "which means you're better off using your knees and elbows. You can put more power behind them."

Before I can think it through, I place my palm on the flat of her stomach. She's so tiny my hand can stretch across the entire length of her abdomen. My hand suddenly tingles where I'm touching her, and she looks up at me, eyes wide. _Did she just feel that too?_ I allow myself to linger a little longer than necessary before I whisper, "Never forget to keep tension here." Then I let my fingers fall away and continue down the row of initiates.

They continue to practice on the punching bags for a couple more uneventful hours. Although I'm observing them all carefully, I keep getting distracted by Tris, the way she made my hand tingle, the way she had looked at me when I touched her. I honestly don't know what's going on with me right now.

At the end of the day, just before I release the initiates for dinner, I decide to spend a few minutes planning the fights for the next day. I have a lot to do tonight, so I figure it's best to just get it out of the way now. Since Edward and Peter are the best, they're an obvious match. I then decide to put Al against Will, and Molly against Christina, to see if the smaller, faster opponents can catch the bigger, slower ones off guard and outwit them. If Christina and Will can go on the offensive early, they stand a good chance.

That only leaves Drew, Myra, and Tris. Obviously one won't be fighting. Tris' obvious lack of muscle really concerns me, and I feel like she could use a little extra time to prepare. Drew might be bigger than Myra, but his movements still look sloppy, while she seems to have improved over the course of the afternoon. So before I can overthink it, I match Drew and Myra, leaving Tris without an opponent.

_You just want to protect her from getting hurt. _No I don't. I really think she just needs extra time to make up for her smaller frame. _And you don't want her to get hurt. _That has nothing to do with it. _Yes it does. _No it doesn't! Great, now I'm arguing with myself.

It's almost six o'clock anyway, so before I can make myself any crazier over these fights, I dismiss the initiates for the day. Once again, I wait for everyone to leave the room before turning off the lights and leaving behind them. Tris and Christina are the last two out, and as I shut the door, I can hear them whispering and notice they keep glancing back at me. They're talking about me, I realize. _I wonder what they're saying. _I don't care. _Yes you do. _

I try to shake the thoughts from my head as I go to meet my friends at the chasm. As I approach the railing, I notice that everyone is already there waiting on me. I walk up and greet everyone with a friendly hello before we turn and head to the shops.

"So what's the game plan?" Shauna asks as we walk.

I really don't want to walk around bored while the girls shop for clothes, so before anyone else can make any crazy suggestions, I speak up, "I was thinking Zeke and I could go look at the knives while you guys go look at clothes or whatever girly shit it is you want to look at." This earns me an unamused glance from Shauna, Lauren and Fi. "And then we can meet up with you at the clothing store so Zeke can get his 'boots'," I finish, flashing Zeke a suspicious look. I still think he's up to something.

But everyone seems happy with my plan, so when we reach the shops, Zeke and I branch off and go our own way. Once we reach the weapons store, I turn to him, "Well go on and lead the way to these amazing throwing stars you just had to drag me out here to look at."

"The what?" he asks looking genuinely confused. "Oh, yeah, right, the throwing stars. They're umm... this way," he says finally settling on a general direction after scanning the store for several moments.

I let him fumble around for a few minutes looking for the throwing stars before finally asking, "Ok, so what's really going on here."

"Nothing. What do you mean? I want to look at throwing stars."

"Oh really?" I say arching an eyebrow. "Because the throwing stars are on the opposite side of the store. You passed them three minutes ago... Now do you want to tell me why we're really here? Or am I going to have to beat it out of you?"

He sighs. "Ok, fine. You win," he hesitantly replies, rubbing the back of his neck. It's a habit he only does when he's really nervous. "The thing is... it's just... it's Shauna."

"Shauna? What about Shauna?"

"You know, I mean, I... like her," he says quietly looking at the ground.

"So we had to come shopping for throwing stars because you like Shauna? Because you want to... impress her by throwing them? I'm confused."

"No, no, it's not like that. It's just, I don't know. I want to spend time with her, I guess. But I'm too nervous to ask her out. It's funny, you know. I'm supposed to be this incredibly brave Dauntless, and yet I'm too scared to ask out a girl. I mean, I know we all have fears, I just never thought this would be one of them."

"Wow, I didn't see that coming," I say honestly.

"Yeah, I didn't either. I mean, we've been friends our whole life, it's just lately... I don't know. It's like I just see her differently, you know?"

I really don't know. I've never been involved with a girl before, never even had feelings for one. _Until now._ I scowl at myself again and Zeke notices.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing. Just these stupid voices in my head have been driving me crazy lately."

"Voices in your head? Uh-oh, you're not going all schizophrenic on us, are you?" he asks teasingly.

I roll my eyes and answer, "No, it's nothing like that. I just have a lot on my mind I guess."

"Hmm... that wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a certain new transfer, would it?"

"Are we really going to go through this again?" I sigh.

"I'm just saying, she does seem to come up a lot."

"That's because you and the rest of my stupid friends keep bringing her up," I counter.

"But you didn't deny it when I asked if that's what you were thinking about," he points out. Before I can protest he continues, "Look, I'm not going to hassle you about it like Shauna would. I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk, you can tell me anything."

"Well now you just sound like a big girl," I tease. "And speaking of girls, let's go find them. I don't know about you, but I'm getting hungry."

Before we leave, we do end up deciding to stop and check out the throwing stars, and they are pretty awesome. We each buy a couple and with that we set out to find the girls. Halfway to the clothing store, I remember our previous conversation.

"Oh yeah, " I speak up. "If you want my advice about Shauna, I say just go for it. What do you have to lose?"

He looks at me like I'm an idiot. "Um, she could say no and humiliate me. She could decide she doesn't want to be friends anymore. She could-"

"Say yes," I interrupt before he can continue with all the worst-case scenarios he's concocted in his head. "You'll never know if you don't ask."

"Yeah, maybe," he says, still sounding unsure. "Oh, and Four," he adds as an afterthought, "if you tell anyone what I told you, I'll have to beat you."

"You could try," I laugh back, shoving him playfully in the shoulder.

Once we reach the clothing store, it doesn't take us long to find the girls talking loudly amongst themselves, each carrying a ton of stuff. They notice us approaching and stop to say hi, then immediately go back to talking. As I look up I notice Tris and Christina standing a few yards away. I try to return back to the conversation with my friends, but I just can't help being distracted by her. I keep sneaking glances at her, tuning out everything else around me. Zeke realizes what I'm doing and gives me a knowing smile, though what it is he thinks he knows, I'm not sure.

When he turns his attention back to Shauna, I involuntarily look back over at Tris. I don't even realize I'm straining to eavesdrop until I hear her say, "You aren't going to be able to make me pretty, you know." _You're already beautiful. _No she's not! _Yes she is._

"No she's not!"

Suddenly, all my friends go silent at once and turn to stare at me.

"Who's not what?" Shauna asks me.

"What?" I ask confused.

"You just yelled, 'no she's not.'"

"I did?" Crap.

"Yeah, you did. So I'll ask again, who's not what?"

This time I see Zeke's eyes involuntarily flicker over to where I was just staring, at Tris, who is still standing there completely oblivious. Unfortunately, Shauna sees it too, and follows his gaze. Then, so does everyone else.

"Oh my god!" she shrieks. "You were talking about the Stiff!"

"Her name is Tris," I say it a bit too defensively and they notice.

"Why so defensive, Four?" Lauren asks bitterly.

"I'm not being defensive, I just don't like that word, ok?" Well at least that much is true.

"So that is who you were talking about. I knew you liked her!" Shauna's exclaiming again.

"No, I don't. We've been over this before."

"Then why were you checking her out?"

"I wasn't checking her out!"

"Yes you were! You were totally checking her out!"

"No I wasn't," this is getting me no where. "Maybe I was checking Christina out. Ever think of that?"

"No, you don't like Christina," Shauna replies matter-of-factly. "You like Tris."

"No. I. Don't."

Just then Zeke leans over and says, "Just throwing this out there buddy, but we weren't the ones who brought her up this time."

"Not helping Zeke."

"Wasn't trying to," he smirks.

I groan in frustration, "I have had enough of this conversation."

"Yeah, me too," Lauren cuts in suddenly. "I just remembered, I have something I was supposed to do. I'll see you guys later." With that she storms off looking angry and... _jealous?_

"What the hell was that about?" I ask, partially out of curiosity and partially to get the attention off myself.

Everyone remains silent, but I notice Fi shifting uncomfortably. I've known her long enough to know she's hiding something.

I turn and stare at her. "What do you know?"

"Who me?" she asks feigning innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't need to be a Candor to be able to tell that you're obviously lying. Lauren's been acting really weird lately, and I think you know why. So out with it," I demand.

She shifts her weight uncomfortably a few more times and sighs, "Ok, fine. It's really not my place to say, but I guess you have a right to know," she pauses before finally continuing, "I think she has a thing for you."

_What?_

I stand there in complete shock. I did not see that coming. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do.

"I mean I don't know for sure," Fi continues. "It was just a rumor I had heard from some of the initiates last year."

_Last year? _

"It might not have even been true. Nothing ever seemed to happen between the two of you, even after her initiation was over, so I just kind of assumed it was just a stupid rumor someone had started, or maybe she had moved on. But now... I don't know."

I know she's still talking, but I'm having a hard time just processing the fact that Lauren might actually like me. And maybe she has for a while. It just can't be true, I would have noticed something like that. _Wouldn't I?_

It would explain her odd behavior lately. No, it can't be. Lauren doesn't see me like that. I'm suddenly so confused.

So I say the only thing I can think of that I know for certain, "It's getting late, we should probably head to the dining hall. I have to be at work soon." And with that we all move in an awkward silence to dinner. Or maybe it's just awkward for me.

I have to be at work in the control room in less that twenty minutes, so I eat quickly, barely registering anything that's happening around me. My mind is all over the place. Training... Lauren... Tris... my thoughts are a jumbled mess. As soon as I'm done eating I slip away from the table silently and head up to the control room. At least there are no surprises waiting for me up there, and nothing that could confuse me.

As I'm walking up the path to the control room, I can't stop myself from running through the conversation I had with Fi. There was a rumor that Lauren liked me. Maybe she still does. Maybe it was never true to begin with. I find myself hoping for the latter. I then realize that tonight I'm working with Felix. He transfered here with Lauren last year from Candor, and she's closer to him than anyone else in our group. Maybe he knows more about this. Yeah, I'll talk to Felix and he'll straighten everything out. Then I'll feel better, I hope.

I enter the room to find Felix typing away on a computer, and Blaze half asleep beside him. At the sound of the door opening he jumps up.

"Oh thank god, you're finally here," he exclaims. "I feel like I've been here forever."

"Yeah I'm here. Go home and have fun with Fi."

"Alright cool. Well you boys have a good night. I'm out," and with that he walks out the door, leaving Felix and me alone.

I sit down just as he finishes typing out whatever he was working on and looks over at me. "Are you okay man? You look really stressed out."

"Yeah I am. I've just had the craziest day, and I kind of need to talk to you about something," I let out. I don't know where to start, so I go back to the beginning. "I don't know if you've noticed, but the past couple of days Lauren's been acting really weird around me. Then today I was out with Zeke and the girls, and they started teasing me about Tris... yet again. Then all of a sudden Lauren just snapped and said she had stuff to do and left. Fi finally told me that she thinks Lauren has a thing for me. She said she overheard a rumor last year during initiation that she liked me, but wasn't sure if it's true. Do you know anything about that?"

He frowns and sighs, "Yeah... it's true. I overheard her telling a couple of her friends about it one night." He pauses, as if he's trying to decide something and continues, "I was actually going over to ask her out when I heard her. She was going on and on about how great you were and how she thought you liked her back, because you were always giving her extra help. It sucked. I kind of didn't like you for a while after that."

_Whoa. _"But I always help anyone who needs extra attention, just like my instructor Amar did for me. How did she take that as me liking her?"

"I don't know man, but I guess she misread the signals somehow. She thought for sure that after initiation was over you would ask her out, and I think it really hurt her when you didn't."

"But I don't like Lauren like that," I finally admit. I realize for the first time that this is what has been bothering me all evening. I don't like Lauren, but I don't want to hurt her feelings either. We're friends and she's a nice girl. Crap. What am I going to do?

"So what are you going to do?"

"I honestly don't know," I admit. "I guess there's nothing to do for now. I mean, I'm certainly not going to let her know what you and Fi told me."

"Well I guess that makes sense."

Then I realize something that Felix had said earlier, "Wait a minute. So you like Lauren," I ask, giving him a grin.

"Well yeah, I've always liked her," he admits blushing slightly. "I mean not just once we got here, but even as kids growing up. We lived next door to each other so I knew her pretty well. I always thought she was amazing, but I was always too nervous to tell her how I felt. When we both picked Dauntless, I thought maybe it was fate. I know that sounds dumb, but what are the odds that we would both leave Candor and come here? I decided that if I was going to be a Dauntless then I needed to man up, be brave and ask her out. But then, well... you happened."

"I'm sorry man," I say, even though I'm not sure what I did to be sorry for.

"It's okay. I mean it's not your fault."

"Well for what it's worth, I really wish it was you she liked and not me."

"Yeah..." We sit in silence for a minute before he says, "Hey Four? Don't hurt her."

"I won't," I tell him, although I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to do that.

_I'm walking through the Pit, and for some reason it's completely empty. Even at night, that's really unusual. I'm heading back to my apartment after a long shift in the control room when suddenly terrified screams pierce the air. I stop and look around frantically, trying to locate the source of the scream, but I don't see anyone. Then I hear it again._

_ "Someone help me please! Please, help me!" It's a girls voice and it sounds familiar, but I'm not sure who it belongs to. _

_ "Help!" This time I realize the yells are coming from the chasm. I don't know what's happening, but I know it's not good._

_ I run over to the chasm, and as I look over the iron barrier, I see her. Lauren is hanging over the edge, frantically trying to pull herself up, but she can't. I can see that she's barely holding on, but when she sees me, she smiles._

_ "Four, I knew you'd come," she says, relief flashing in her eyes._

_ Just as I bend down to offer her my hand, I hear yet another cry for help. I look to my right and see Tris, also hanging over the edge twenty feet away. I feel a weight drop in my stomach like a ball of hot lead. I don't even think, I just get up and rush to her, Lauren completely forgotten. _

_ Tris looks over and calls out to me, "Help me Four! I need you."_

_ As soon as I reach her, I bend down and grab both of her tiny arms and pull her up. Relief and gratitude shine bright in her pale eyes and I stand transfixed for just a second, staring into them, before I remember that Lauren is still hanging there. Just as I turn to run back to her, she loses her grip and falls. The last thing I see before she drops out of sight is the pain in her eyes._


	4. Chapter 4

**A note from the author: A little back story on some of my original characters. Fi is based on Fiona from **_**Burn Notice.**_** Absolutely love the show, and she is awesome and totally Dauntless. I felt like she just had to be in the book. As for Blaze, I just felt like Four needed a couple more guy friends. The tattoo of his flames came from a character in the **_**Marked Men **_**series, which I also love. His real name, Theodore, is Theo James' full name. I am absolutely obsessed with him, so it only seemed right to put his name in the book. As for Blaze's personality, well that is totally based on my fiance, and almost every stupid thing he says or does is something Donny has done. I didn't start out with the intention of writing him that way, but after the first scene, it just kind of happened so I'm going with it. I am kinda loving Blaze and Fi and their crazy relationship right now, so I thought I'd tell you a little more about them. There will be plenty more of them in chapters to come. Please, please, please leave me a review or send me a message. I love feedback, and I'm totally open to any suggestions. Anyway, enough rambling from me. We all know what you came here for, so without further ado, I give you Chapter 4. :)**

**Chapter 4**

I wake up in a cold sweat. What the hell kind of dream was that? I know it wasn't real, but I can't help but feel guilty about letting Lauren fall. _But you had to save Tris._ Did I? Is that what I would have done in real life? Would I have really let a friend die to save a girl I barely know? Even the thought makes me sick. I just hope I never get put in a situation like that. Then I remember the way it had pierced my heart when Tris had said she needed me and I smile a little. I shake my head, pushing all thoughts of the dream to the back of my mind as I get up and get dressed. I then head towards the training room, grabbing a muffin to eat on the way.

I get there a few minutes early before any of the initiates arrive so I can write down the order of the fights on the board. Just as I finish writing the list, someone walks through the door and I turn my head to see Eric sauntering in. I'm really not in the mood to deal with him right now, not that I ever am.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him coldly.

"Just came to see the fights," he shrugs. "Oh, and there have been some rule changes everyone needs to be aware of."

Oh no, I don't like the sound of that. Before I can ask him about it, though, the initiates start filing in through the door. I guess we're all going to find out what Eric's up to soon enough. I can tell from the way they're walking the initiates are all sore, but they're just going to have to get used to it. It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

I see them checking the board, trying to find out who their opponent will be. Some look worried, others look as though they couldn't care less. Tris looks over, and when she realizes she doesn't have to fight today, relief washes over her face. Christina on the other hand, looks like she's going to be sick.

Once everyone is in the room, I turn to address them. "Since there are an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today," I tell them, my eyes automatically finding Tris. I stare at her for a moment, then look away. I have to be careful around Eric. He's always watching me like a hawk, and if he sees me looking at Tris too often he'll think something's going on. That won't end well for Tris or me.

I motion for the first two fighters to enter the ring, which is really just a giant red circle painted onto the floor. Will and Al stand facing each other, both looking completely uncomfortable and unsure. They hesitantly put their arms up to defend themselves, and begin shuffling around each other in a circle. Al takes the first swing, punching Will hard in the jaw. He tries to punch him again, but this time Will's ready and he blocks it. He counters by hooking a foot around Al's leg and yanks it, knocking him flat on his back. Al recovers quickly though and is back on his feet in no time.

I glance over at Eric and notice him watching with an evil smirk on his face, twirling one of the many rings in his eyebrow. I hate those stupid rings. Back in the arena, Will and Al continue circling each other. It's obvious neither of them wants to hurt the other. They glance over at me, probably hoping I'll call the fight, but I know Eric wouldn't allow it. Even if he wasn't here, there's no way I would call it this early. They've both only successfully landed one move.

Eric checks his watch, clearly growing impatient with the lack of action. After a few more seconds he yells out, "Do you think this is a leisure activity? Should we break for nap-time? Fight each other!"

Al looks over to us, relaxing his arms and asks, "But... is it scored or something? When does the fight end?"

"It ends when one of you is unable to continue," Eric answers.

"According to Dauntless rules," I add, "one of you could also concede."

Eric narrows his eyes at me before saying, "According to the old rules. In the new rules, no one concedes."

Ah, so that's what he meant by rule changes, and I'm positive he had something to do with this slight alteration. I don't like it at all. I'm going to lose all my initiates in two days.

"A brave man acknowledges the strength of others," I tell him bitterly.

"A brave man never surrenders," he retorts. We stand glaring at each other for a minute.

This is absolutely ridiculous, and everything I've come to hate over the past few years. Dauntless used to be about bravery and honor. Now, thanks to guys like Eric and Max, it's just about violence and ruthlessness. It's for this reason I've considered leaving Dauntless. I don't want to be factionless, but I just don't believe in the same things they do anymore. Our faction is changing, and not for the better. But right now, Eric has the authority here, and as much as I don't like his new rule, there's nothing I can do about it. So I just turn back to where Al and Will still stand facing each other, even more anxious than before.

"This is ridiculous," Al says shaking his head. "What's the point of beating him up? We're in the same faction!" My thoughts exactly.

"Oh, you think it's going to be that easy?" Will asks grinning before Eric can say anything. "Go on. Try to hit me, slowpoke."

They both resume their fighting stances, but now I can see a glimmer of determination in Will's eyes. Al throws a few punches and Will avoids them all. If he can keep this up he'll be able to tire Al out, giving him a serious advantage. Will slips around Al quickly and kicks him hard in the back, causing Al to stumble forward several feet. When he turns, he looks like a completely different person. His eyes are angry and wild. He charges at Will, who now looks terrified. He grabs his arm, cocks back, and punches Will hard in the jaw.

Will's eyes immediately glaze over and roll back into his head. I watch him go limp and crumple in a heap on the floor. Al looks stunned, remorse and guilt flooding his face. I know he didn't mean to knock Will unconcsious. He slumps down next to Will's unmoving and awkwardly sprawled body, tapping on his cheek with one hand until his eyes finally flutter open.

"Get him up," Eric yells. I turn to see him standing there with a satisfied smirk on his face, his lips curled into a disgusting grin, like the cruel, sadistic bastard he is.

I turn to circle Al's name on the board as the victor, and when I turn back I see him with Will's arm draped over his shoulder, dragging him out of the ring.

"Next up- Molly and Christina," Eric shouts, completely unconcerned that someone was just knocked unconscious. I glance over at Al who is still dragging Will. He hasn't been able to walk by himself yet, so I'm pretty sure he needs medical attention. Unfortunately, concussions are common here in Dauntless, but you still don't want to mess around with a head injury. As much as I hate the idea of leaving the initiates here with the tyrant, I know Will needs to go to the infirmary, and Eric definitely isn't going to take him.

As Christina and Molly step into the ring, I walk over to Al and Will. When I reach them, I wrap an arm around Will's waist, taking his weight away from Al.

"Don't worry, I've got this," I say, looking directly at him. "I'll take him to the infirmary, you just go back and stand with your friends."

He's just about to walk away, when he suddenly turns back to me, "I didn't mean to knock him out."

"I know you didn't, but sometimes you have to do shit you don't want to. Especially if you want to make it here in Dauntless. He's going to be ok."

With that he nods and goes back to stand with Tris and I drag Will out of the room and towards the infirmary. When we get there, I see Shauna sitting behind the desk filling out some paper work. She looks up as we approach and smiles.

"What did you do to this one Four?" she asks teasingly.

"This one wasn't me," I inform her. "One of the other initiates knocked him unconscious during a fight. I don't think it did too much damage, but I'm pretty sure he has a concussion. I figured you might want to check him out, make sure everything still works up there."

"Ah, I see." She quickly fills out an admittance slip and has another nurse come get him.

Just as I'm about to walk away, Shauna turns to me and asks, "So have you talked to Lauren?"

"No. I had to work last night and I've been with the initiates all day so I haven't had a chance. Why, have you?"

"No. She didn't sit with us at breakfast this morning like she always does. In fact, I haven't seen her since she left the shop. I wonder if what Fi said about her could be true. I mean, she has been acting kind of strange lately..."

I sigh heavily. "It's true."

"What? Are you serious? How do you know?"

"I talked to Felix last night at work about it. He told me how she's liked me since initiation. Apparently she misread some signals and thought I liked her... I don't know."

"Wait, Felix? Why would you ask him about... Oh, that's right. They transfered here together."

I just nod in response.

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"Like I told Felix, right now there's nothing to do about it. I mean, it's not like I'm going to go up to her and be like, 'Hey Lauren, Felix and Fi told me you like me, but I just don't feel the same way about you. Sorry. Later buddy.'"

"Well when you put it that way..." she trails off. "Wait, so you're saying you don't like Lauren?"

"I mean I like her as a friend, but not like that, no."

She raises an eyebrow and gives me a teasing grin, but before she can say anything, I cut her off, "No, we are not getting into this again. I've had enough drama in the past few days, and I am not in the mood right now."

"What? I didn't say anything," she says innocently. But I know her better than that.

"Mm-hmm, but I know what you were thinking, and we are not going to go there right now.

"Fine," she smirks. "I'll save it for later then."

I shake my head and leave before she can say anything more.

Later that night, I sit down at our regular table with Shauna, Zeke, Blaze and Fi. We still haven't seen Lauren since last night, which is really unusual. Maybe she's just really busy trying to keep her own initiates in line.

Speaking of initiates, "So how is Will?" I ask, looking across the table at Shauna.

"He's going to be fine. Just a minor concussion, as you suspected," she says smiling back at me. It's obvious to anyone who knows her that she loves her job, loves helping people. It's an odd trait for a Dauntless, but I couldn't imagine her belonging anywhere but here.

"That's good to hear," and I honestly mean that. Fighting is an important part of Dauntless training, but I still don't like the idea of beating people senseless just to apease Eric.

Felix then joins us at the table, eyes wide. "Oh my god, I heard about what Eric did today. What happened Four?"

"Oh you know how he is. I guess he and Max have it stuck in their heads now that fights should only end once one of the initiates is knocked out cold. I don't like it, but what can I do about it?"

He looks at me confused. "No, not that," he clarifies, "I'm talking about him forcing one of your initiates to hang over the chasm."

_What?_

"You let Eric make one of your initiates hang over the chasm?" Fi asks accusingly.

"No," I say shaking my head. "I didn't know anything about it. It must have been after I left to take Will to the infirmary. I can't believe this. He actually made one of my initiates hang over the chasm?" I ask in disbelief turning back to Felix.

"Yeah, apparently he made the girl hang there for five minutes."

_The girl. _Suddenly that hot ball of lead is back in my stomach. _Please tell me it wasn't Tris._

I have to force myself to calm down before I ask, "Which initiate was it?"

"That girl from Candor, Christina, I think her name is," he replies, filling me with relief.

Then I remember what Eric had just done to one of my initiates, and anger rushes through me again. He could have killed her!

"I can't believe Eric..." I trail off, because I actually can believe it. He's pure evil.

"Speak of the devil," Shauna says nodding her head to my right. I turn to see none other than Eric, walking straight towards me.

He stops right behind me and leans in before saying, "You're initiates are weak. I don't think you're pushing them hard enough, so I'll be helping you oversee their training from now on. Oh, and I'm going to set up the matches for tomorrow's fights."

Before I can even turn to protest, he's gone. I have a bad feeling again. I don't want Eric anywhere near my group. I know this is going to end badly, and judging from the expressions on my friends' faces, they know it too.

We eat in silence for a few minutes, before Felix suddenly glances up and points, "Look," motioning across the room. We all turn to look and see Lauren heading in our direction. She notices us watching her, and stops mid-step, hesitating for a moment, before continuing to walk over to us. She sits down next to Shauna, opposite me.

"Where have you been?" Shauna asks her. "We haven't seen you once since you left the shop last night.

"Yeah sorry about that. I've just been really busy with training and everything. You know how it is," she says casually looking over at me.

She doesn't know about what Fi and Felix told me, so I go along with her act.

"Yeah I know what you mean. The transfers keep me busy day and night. Between them and working in the control room, I feel like I barely sleep."

"Oh, please," Blaze chimes in, "Like you actually work in the control room these days. You've worked all of one shift in the past week."

"Whatever," I reply, rolling my eyes at him. "At least that's one less shift you had to work."

"Yeah, you're one to talk Blaze. All you do when you're there is sleep," Felix smirks.

"Shut up," he snaps back, throwing a roll at Felix. "Besides, I have to sleep at work. Whenever I'm home, this one always has me busy doing stuff," he motions to Fi.

"All I asked you to do was put the dishes away!" Fi retorts.

"Yeah, and fix the cabinet."

"The cabinet that _you_ broke putting the dishes away!"

"You broke the cabinet?" Zeke asks him confused.

"Yeah, he broke it. Knocked the whole damn thing right off the wall."

"How the hell did you knock the cabinet off the wall?" Felix asks.

"Man I don't know... One minute I'm putting plates away, the next minute the cabinet's falling onto the counter..."

"Yep, that sounds about right," Zeke snickers.

"Only Blaze," Shauna adds with a laugh, and then we're all laughing. Well, all of us except Fi of course.

We continue joking and laughing while we eat, and it almost seems as though everything has gone back to normal. I even allow myself to momentarily forget about Eric _helping_ me with the initiates, and let myself just enjoy the company of my friends.


End file.
